First Sunday, October

6th Day.

Went to church for the morning service. Late pa ng 30 minutes. Late nagising. Natagalan sa pagkain. Di na naabutan ang paunang praise and worship. Dumating kami ni gerletz kaffe time na, just before the preaching. Touched with the preaching. Humility. Pastor spoke about Jesus’ washing His disciples’ feet.

After the church service, we went to Anne and Mad’s place for our monthly Bible study. There were 13 of us, including our host and their little baby, sweet baby Gab. 👼 It’s really nice to learn and grow more in God’s word with fellow believers. We also got ourselves new Bibles. I have been hoping to buy a new Bible for myself because the one I have, has only the New Testament. I wanted one with both Old and New testaments. But, I wasn’t able to buy yet because it is really expensive. So, it was really an answered prayer.

After our Bible study, we went to Tina’s place. But had to leave early to have dinner at Mayeth’s place. Then off to church we go for the youth service. It was our first time to attend it. It was actually cool. Enlightened and blessed with the preaching. Pastor Leif talked about how big God’s love is.

I am blessed with the life of all that I met today. Very, very thankful with God’s gift and grace. Glad to have an awesome God.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” ~Jeremiah 29:11, NLT

20131007-003103.jpg
Our new Bible

Ten-Day Blog Challenge: Day Three

10Days

EIGHT WAYS TO WIN YOUR HEART

This is kinda difficult…

1. Be yourself. Don’t try to please me and in the process be someone else you’re not.

2. Smile. 🙂

3. Make me feel special. Take care of me. Surprise me.

4. Be respectful.

5. Make me laugh. Maging clown ka. Kyahahaha!

6. Allow me to pinch you, hit your arm and tousle your hair. This may contradict the first one… but, sige na please. 😀

7. Allow me to grow alongside with you… or let me spread my wings and fly but will still be there for me. I’d do the same for you.

8. Let love do talking. Ansaveh?

Black Sky, Dark Night

*I posted this on Multiply last July 28, 2008. This was “inspired” by my breakup with my second boyfriend.*

 

In the dark of the night

When stars don’t stud the sky

I look at the heavens

And think of you.

 

And just like the blackness I see

There’s only emptiness in me.

Just as the stars don’t light the sky

My eyes are blurred by the tears I cried.

 

I swam in an ocean of vast empty space.

Searching for a familiar place and friendly face.

When darkness creeps in me,

Pain resides in the depths of me.

 

I reminisce the times I hold your hand in mine.

I remember the laughter you and I shared.

I am reminded of how you look into my eyes.

I think of every moment we had together.

 

But where are you now?

What happened to your love you said was mine?

Where was the promise you’ll never let me fall?

How do I stand up after I stumble?

 

All you left me now is blackness

Which has covered my vision with mud.

I tried reaching for something for me to hold on to.

But I was left with nothing except for the thought that before, there was me and you.

The Second Word

*I posted this on Multiply last May 08, 2009. This was the reflection I gave when I was asked to be one of the speakers for the Seven Last Words on Good Friday 2009. Credit also goes to Mr. Mark D. Roberts. Trivia 1: When I practiced reading this and asked my dad to listen, I cried… this was somehow my way to say I’m sorry. My dad asked me if I will be able to read this in front of everyone and not breakdown. I answered, yes, I can manage, and I did. Trivia 2: I was the youngest among the speakers. Ako lang talaga ata ang bata. I was 21 when I became one of the speakers. My fellow speakers were in their 40s and up.*

 

“Truly I tell you; today you will be with me in Paradise.”

Na diaton mundo ahora manada umal balita. Double-dead meat sold in the market, Ebola virus, salmonella on certain food items, bombings, kidnappings, global financial crisis, global warming, unemployment, extrajudicial killings, graft and corruption, and war are just some of the bad news. It is depressing. Frustrating. Heart-breaking. Minsan mas gugustuhin na lang natin ang wag makialam; ang hindi manood o makinig ng balita upang hindi panghinaan ng loob at masaktan o kaya ay magalit dahil sa nangyayari sa bansa at sa mundo. Dol escuridad el ta gana ahora. Manada kita ta experiencia sufriemiento y dolor. Tiene vez siguro ta sinti kita dol nuay mas esperanza. Yet there is goodness. There is hope. There is a cure for sin. A cure that does not promise magical solutions but promises that the pain of sin is not the end, that when all this is over, when the suffering is finished that the final word is not torture and defeat but life — life springing out of the ashes, life transformed and fulfilled in Paradise. To the compassionate thief; to the one who could still recognize the good in the world; to the one who tried to comfort and protect that good; to the one who sought good — Comfort was given “Truly I tell you; today you will be with me in Paradise.”

Cuando clavao si Hesus na cruz, ya gangya con Ele el maga lideres y maga soldao. El uno del maga criminal crucificao hunto con Ele ya desprecia y ya insulta tamen con Ele. But the other crucified criminal sensed that Jesus was being treated unjustly. After speaking up for Jesus, he cried out, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” (Lk.23:42).

Jesus responded to this criminal, “Truly I tell you; today you will be with me in Paradise” (Lk.23:43). The word paradise, from the Greek word paradeisos, which meant “garden,” was used in the Greek Old Testament as a word for the Garden of Eden. In Judaism of the time of Jesus it was associated with heaven, and also with the future when God would restore all things to the perfection of the Garden. Paradise was sometimes thought to be the place where righteous people went after death. This seems to be the way Jesus uses paradise in this passage.

Thus we have encountered one of the most astounding and encouraging verses in all of Scripture. Jesus promised that the criminal would be with him in paradise. Yet the text of Luke gives us no reason to believe this man had been a follower of Jesus or even a believer in him in any well-developed sense. He might have felt sorry for his sins, but he did not obviously repent. Rather, the criminal’s cry to be remembered seems more like a desperate, last-gasp effort.

With this passage we know that Our God is a God of mercy and love. His mercy exceeds anything we might imagine. Un ehemplo del misericordia del Señor ya dale canaton mira si Hesucristo por medio del parabula del prodigal son. The son said to him (his father), “Father, I have sinned against God and against you, I no longer deserve to be called your son” (Lk.15:21) Did his father turn his back on his son? Pinagalitan ba niya ang pasaway nyang anak? NO. Rather, when the father caught sight of him, he ran out to meet him, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him (Lk.15:20). The father said to his servants: “Quick! Bring out the finest robe and put it on him, put a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet. Take the fatted calf and kill it. Let us eat and celebrate because this son of mine was dead and has come back to life. He was lost and is found. (Lk.15:22-24)

Tiene tamen un estudyante. An A-student. Ya estudya le embuenamente desde elementary asta college. Honor student le asta high school. Involved na extra-curricular activities asta college. It so happened na cuando 3rd year college ele ya tene aberiya. Nuay ele entra escuela sin permiso del disuyu maga mayores. Nuay ele entra escuela hinde por causa kay yan loko ele na “lovelife”; hinde por causa na bisyo. Sino por causa kay ya perde disuyu gana y ya sinti ele na hinde disuyu “calling” el disuyu curso. Yes, it may be the case, nuay man loko na “lovelife” o na bisyo, but still it was wrong. Mali el cosa le ya hace. Ta accepta le disuyu mali and she was sorry for it. Ya pidi le perdon. However, not everybody understood. Poco lang el ya entede conele. Aquellos lang quien ya experiencia igual suceso. Most of them did not and others would not. They only thought of the wasted money, time, energy and effort. Ta entende le. Tiene sila punto. Pero, el ta necesita le que ay entende conele, kay ele tamen ta sufri. Hinde ele el mal bata. Triste y dolorido le kay sabe ele na yan disappoint le disuyu mayores and they were hurt, too.

But, God is good. He is gracious. Ya dale El Dios conele open-minded parents; understanding parents. Igual na tata na parabula del prodigal son, ya recibi otra vez conele el disuyu maga mayores.

Though our situation is so different from the criminal who cried out to Jesus, we are nevertheless quite like him. Aren’t we blessed to have such a faithful, loving and merciful God?

Though we should make every effort to have right theology, and though we should live our lives each day as disciples of Jesus, in the end, our relationship with him comes down to simple trust. “Jesus, remember me,” we cry. And Jesus, embodying the mercy of God, says to us, “You will be with me in paradise.” We are welcome there not because we have right theology, and not because we are living rightly, but because God is merciful and we have put our trust in Jesus.

Before I end this I want to leave you with the following questions: Have you staked your life on Jesus? Have you put your ultimate trust in him? Alam mo ba na pag dumating na ang oras mo, makakasama mo Siya sa paraiso? Naniniwala ka ba? Ta cree ba tu na el Señor Jesucristo nunca ay olvida y abandona contigo basta llama tu Conele con todo corazon? Mosalig ba ta sa Ginoo nga walay bisan gamay nga pagduda?

Take time to pause and reflect. God bless us all.

Un Recuerdo Por Ti

*Galing din ito sa Multiply page ko. Posted last August 08, 2008. Same title pa rin. This was written for a special friend that time.*

 

Di ba sabi ko gagawa ako ng sarili kong composition na i-dededicate ko sa’yo. But, I’m not gonna write you a love song today (kinakanta ang line na ‘yan). So, I’m gonna write you this piece of blog. Di ko kasi masabi sa’yo nang harapan ang nararamdaman ko. Anlayo mo kasi. Kung bakit ba naman andyan ka, andito ako. Ahek! Di bale. Kaya, dito na lang muna. Sana mabasa mo. Kung ‘di naman, bantay ra jud ka nako. Hehe.

I’m just grateful na andyan ka. You were always there for me (sana ‘gang sa huli). If it weren’t for you, I won’t be able to recover this fast. If it weren’t for you nahihirapan at nasasaktan pa rin ako hanggang ngayon. If it weren’t for you baka ‘di ko pa rin matanggap na wala kaming future (paano nga naman magkaka-future, eh wala nga kaming past at present, hehe). When I needed someone, present ka.

But, I’m not gonna write you a love song today (kinakanta ulit ang line na yan). Kasi, I’m not sure kung love song ba ang dapat kong isulat para sa’yo. Pareho pa kasi tayong galing sa sakit sa puso (buyag!), este, na-brokenhearted (di ko maalala ang tamang term. naman!). Pareho pa tayo na karerecover lang sa angina pectoris.

But, I’m not gonna write you a love song today (wag mo nang itanong) kasi di ako sigurado kung mahal na nga ba kita. Ambilis naman kasi. Baka naman we’re just fond of each other. Ayaw lang nating malaman (di naman kasi pwedeng makita) na nasasaktan ang sinuman sa atin. Pero, di nga malabong magkadevelopan tayo (teka lang. negative ba tayo ng photograph at nadedevelop?). Uuuy..issue ‘to. Ang alam ko lang ngayon, mahal man kita more than a friend o hinde, you’ll always be a part of me (parang kanta ‘to ah. David Cook ikaw ba yan? O Mariah?). Sa ayaw at sa gusto ko..sa ayaw at sa gusto mo rin, bahagi ka na ng buhay ko. Nakatatak sa diary ko (may diary pala ako..?). Magulo man ako, dahil ikaw yan, alam ko maiintindihan mo ako. May USB (pahiram ng punch line ha) ka eh, este ESP pala (for sure, mako-confirm mo na ngayon na ikaw nga ang special friend ko. Wag umangal ha. Sagdii ko sa ako gibati. Di bitaw tika mapasakitan).

Di ka naman mahirap mahalin eh. Ta principia ya man gane yo kai contigo. Masaya ako pag andyan ka. Masaya ka kasing kausap (ka-chat gud para way away). Isa ka sa mga nakapagpapasaya sa akin. Basta..basta..makulay ang buhay sa sinabawang gulay. Alam ko rin na maswerte ako at nakilala kita, naging ka-chat, kaibigan at kung anu-ano pang “ka”. Sabi ko nga sa’yo, andami mo nang role sa buhay ko. Di ka pa kaya mapagod? Tsaka, di ka ba bawal mahalin? Sana, hinde. Di kasi malayo (malapit na eh) na mahulog ang loob ko sa’yo. Konti na lang and i’ll be saying you had me at hello, you had me in a heartbeat. Tsaka, baka nga nahulog na talaga ako ‘di ko lang napansin. Sinalo mo ba ako?

I’m at ease and comfortable with you. Mukha ngang compatible tayo eh. Nagkakasundo tayo sa mga bagay-bagay (alam mo na ano ang mga bagay-bagay na ‘yan). I know we’ll reach a point where we won’t agree about something..but carbo + carbo is NATURAL! (sa bleach ko kinuha ang pamatay na line na ‘yan). Aminado ako na marami pa akong di alam tungkol sa’yo. Ikaw rin naman eh, marami ka pang ‘di alam tungkol sa akin. Kaya quitz lang. Besides, may “getting-to-know-each-other” naman ah. Darating at darating ang panahon na lalabas rin ang tunay nating kulay (pareho tayong kayumanggi) kung ‘di pa tayo nagpapakatotoo ngayon.

Pero, dahil piscean ako (blame it to astrology) kaya nagtitiwala ako na nagpapakatotoo tayo (naivete and gullible mode. duh?!) Sale gayod el diaton mga bagon. But, friends naman tayo kaya tanggap ko anuman ang kapintasan at kahinaan mo (sana vice versa ‘to). Lahat ng tao naman eh nagkakamali at nagakakaroon ng pagkukulang di ba?

But, I’m not gonna write you a love song today (alam mo na) coz I wrote you this. Basta, muchisimas gracias! Te quiero mucho! Te amo! (basta) Besos y abrazos! I’m not gonna write you a love song today coz I might/I’m gonna show you my love song someday.

 

*Kung bakit ‘di “I’m not gonna write you a love song today” ang title, kanya-kanyang trip yan. XD*

Closing of a Chapter

*I posted this on my Multiply account last 11.15.08*

“I’ve watched love get closer

And then fade away

I’ve seen you believe in me

I’ve seen you trying to stay

But what good is holding on

When you know that all

You can think about is letting go

They say if you love someone

Then set them free

If they come back again

Then in the end it was meant to be

No matter how hard we try

Some good things never last

All you can think about is letting go

Be true to yourself, my love

That’s all I ever wanted you to be

Just don’t forget to smile

When you think of me”

–Some Good Things Never Last, Barbra Streisand

I sang that song few years ago… And I’m singing it once again… And like that memory of long ago, I’m writing down this one, too..

It has been months since I last wrote something..a poem, a letter, an article and a mere line or two.. My Muse has been beckoning me to write.. The Graces were whispering in soft, low voices..telling me to go back to writing.. The nymphs were flooding my mind with vivid breathtaking imagery.. Beautiful, vibrant words.. Exquisite, melancholic texts; Mine to create into a splendid composition. But, I backed down.. I walked away from the Muses.. I disregarded the Graces.. I ignored the nymphs.. And went my way.. I let idleness reign my days..

Then the day came. A day I knew would eventually come. I have seen it coming. Felt the woeful gust blown by the poignant wind. I knew that sooner or later we have to part ways. I sensed it when things went haywire; when certain things happened that was out of my control. Just like our communication means which hold a big part in our relationship. And though I was somewhat aware of it, it still brought me pain.

On that day (night) he told me that he can’t keep up with our situation anymore. He can no longer stand our distance. He doesn’t  want matters to get worse. I understand his point. Much as I wanted to hold on & not let go, I knew I had to. For the better. I would have asked him to hang on and stick around. To tell him that I know we’ll make it through. I would have asked him to stay. But, I know that would be selfish of me to do so, knowing that I will be the only one in bliss. And I just can’t bear to be selfish. I can’t bear to see him hurting and in travail. So, I had to give in.

I don’t want that time to arrive wherein our love would turn into hate because we pushed ourselves to the edge; because we were pressured; because we feel like we are being choked inside a detrimental relationship; because we are drowning in a destructive affair. I don’t want that to happen for it will only make us bitter persons maybe wallowing in self-pity, full of regrets or at the height of disparaging anger.

I know the life of a bitter person. I’ve been there. It was pure hell. You only have destructive thoughts. You only think of how to get even. You think of revenge. You become murderous or even suicidal (Although I was not; I was more murderous than suicidal). Days are bleak. Hours are dreary. Nights are lonely. All hope seem lost. Depression triggers. You become so absorbed in vengeance you get stranded in the middle of nowhere; stuck up in the dark. Never seeing light. Never wanting light. You neglect to get a life, to live a life. You forget to move on, to move forward and get over it. Instead of getting a productive life, you take the loss by being bitter. A bitter life is simply a harsh life. I don’t want him to feel it; especially not with me and not because of me. So, we had to go our own way and live separate lives.

With the turn of events, a closing of a chapter took place on that cold November night. It hurts to see even his photographs. I was aching for a lost love. Promises and plans for the future shattered into pieces, turned into dust and blown by the wind to a vague distant land. Once again I have to deal with a broken heart conceived on that same chilly November night.

Just as gloom started to overwhelm me, raindrops started to fall as if in sympathy on my elegiac state. Even my cat seemed to sense my sorrow for he was ill the following day. The rain continued to pour on that day, too, as I savor my sorrow to soften the pain; as I acknowledge the sting in my broken yet beating heart.

Just like what I believed on that memory of days gone by, maybe we weren’t just meant to be. Maybe we’re better off as friends. Maybe he’d be better off with someone else who can give and who is willing to give more than I can and more than I will. Maybe this time wasn’t ours. Maybe we are not supposed to be together in this lifetime. Though it brought pain in our hearts to know that “we” won’t work, I’m relieved to know that atleast we tried. We gave our best and it didn’t suffice. I wish him good luck. I wish him all the best. I pray that he would find that long-awaited golden day and that I may find it, too.

I think my favorite author was right when he asked why it feels so right to write during our sad moments. For I heeded my Muse’s beckons.. I didn’t turn a deaf ear to the Graces.. I noticed the nymphs..few nights after a chapter in my life was closed.. I passed over my sluggishness to succumbed to my Muse’s calling..to the murmur of the Graces with that velvety, gentle voice and to the nymph’s painting of picturesque, astounding words.. For I captured my thoughts to write on this cold November night.